What If Winnie Drank The Water?
by hannirose
Summary: Rated PG13 for some angst, What if Winnie DID drink the water? What would have happened? Where is Jesse? Is he coming for her?
1. The begining

Prolog  
(AN/ I know that Winnie did the right thing when she did not drink the water but the ending made me so sad!!! And I am a complete total hopeless romantic. Soooooooooo.... Only here will you see that Winnie DID drink the water... But she's starting to regret that she ever did because Jesse still has not come back 20 years later and Winnie is starting to get scared... Also I do not own the book so I may get some things a little messed up! Please forgive me if I screw things up a ton! This is a mix between the book and the movie.)  
  
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February 14th  
  
I drank the water all those years ago when I was 16. I drank the water. And I waited... But Jesse Tuck has not come back for me. He promised me that he would come back for me. I have never stopped loving him! Never! But everyone I ever knew and loved are dead or have pushed me away.  
  
I now know how Miles felt. Why he is so bitter. I was pushed away by my family who thought I had sold my soul. In a way I did, sell my soul I mean. I gave my heart and soul to Jesse and I have never gotten it back. My mother died a year after they found out that something was wrong with me... When I was 18 or so. I had always been rather small for my age. But my mother got suspicious you see, when I drank the water I had been 5"1 and I am still 5"1 and I had also I made the mistake of drinking the water before my monthlies started. So they never did. At first mother took me from doctor to doctor and no one knew what was wrong with me.   
  
Of course there were other things like my hair stopped growing. It just... Stopped, Just like that. Eventually rumors started flying. Rumors of witchcraft and black magic. So my parents kicked me out. Well, Father did, Mother wanted me to stay she still thought that I just was a slow grower.  
  
But I never had a chance to explain things to her. So here I am, alone and waiting for my first love, a man I met when I was ten years old. I'm 36 years old and look exactly like I did when I was 16.  
  
My only hope is that Jesse will come back someday and we will be together again. In the mean time I live a cruel existence. Full of lonely nights and days of hiding and trying to make my way through this world. I live in the Tuck's old cabin. I went back there after my parents kicked me out and that is where I have been since then.  
  
Let me tell you something about being immortal. You can't die but it does NOT keep you from getting hurt. I still get hurt but I never die. I will live if I am deprived of food for days but I WILL feel very sick and weak. But I won't die, I'll never die.  
  
Tuck once said to me, " Never be afraid of death, but rather the unlived life." Well, I am not afraid of death but of life. I am afraid that I will be alone for the rest of time that I will never have friends again, never have a family. Never be part of a family ever.   
  
As for the Tuck's well... I don't know if I shall ever see them again. Ever. I suppose that we could live till the world ended and never meet again. We may not be able to die but that does not mean we will meet again.  
Some people think that living forever would be a gift anyone would want. But its not. They have no idea. No idea at all.  
  
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AN/ Well, Whatta ya think? Worth continuing?? Let me know! REVIEW ME!!!! And send me an email! Those harassing emails help me update faster! *evil grin* My email addie is hannirose56@yahoo.com PLEASE review!  
-Hannah 


	2. Addie

(AN/ I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!!! Miss me? I got reviews! YAY! *does happy dance* THANK YOU SOP MUCH FOR REVIEWING ME! I love you all dearly and I'll read and review your fanficcys too if ya want!  
Liveandletdie24: I'm glad that you like my humble ficcy! I'm glad also that so far I have been getting everything right. I'm not quite sure where this story is gonna go. Should I have Jesse come back? Review and/or email me w/ idea's!  
Ruby: Ah, short but sweet review! I'm glad you like my story! Makes me feel special! And I am planning on continuing like... Right now...   
Sirentears: Yay! I'm glad you like my writing! It makes me feel special when people review me as I have said before. *feels special* Anyways I'm glad that you think that it is worth continuing!  
E.K. Cropp: Thaz what I'm planning on doing! Glad you like it!  
Minnie mouse: *gasp* A celebrity reviewed my ficcy! (o; Hehe Glad that you like it. I thought Winnie should have defiantly drank it until I really thought about it... Now I think it would suck to live forever!  
Everyone: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE review me! I love reviews! They are beautiful. I don't care if they are flames or what just please review. Also if you like this ficcy check out my other ones! I don't have too many reviewers... )o: SO READ THEM AND REVIEW! Please?  
  
ps. Oh and before I forget I am a computer dummy and cannot for the life of me figure out how to get italics and all that so when something is in all caps that is just my pathetic attempt to make italics. I don't have Microsoft word so I don't think I can get them in my stuff.)  
  
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CHAPTER TWO  
  
February 16th,  
I have decided that I will go and search of Jesse. I can't just sit here waiting! For all I know he could have heard about my staged death and thinks that I have kicked the bucket if you get my meaning. He could think of me as dead and be heart broken... Or so I hope...  
Then again... Maybe he doesn't care! We were much younger then... Well, I was Jesse was around 100 so you can't really call that young. But anyways he may have forgotten me and found someone new. Maybe he found someone prettier and with... Um... DIMPLES! He's found a pretty girl that he has fallen in love with, a girl with dimples.  
I just went back and read that last paragraph. It sounded petty and childish even to me. If Jesse has found someone I will be happy for him, I would never wish this loneliness on anyone. Well, not most people anyways. So I will go find him if I can. At least there will be people to talk to. Here I can't talk to anyone in fear that they might find out about me.   
  
When I was fourteen I made a friend with a girl my age who's mother was friends with mine. She was different than most girls I had known. Most girls I had met were worried mostly about looks and marriage. Addie was different. She just wanted to play! She reminded me of Jesse. From the moment she told me that she always wanted to be able to climb a tree I latched onto her.  
We were the best of friends I told her everything... Well, almost everything. I didn't tell her about the Tuck's secret. I did tell her about Jesse though. Not his secret or his past or how they had SUPPOSEDLY kidnapped me but about how I thought I might love him and how he taught me how to just have fun and to appreciate the small things in life.  
She told me about her secret place. Her secret place was anywhere and everywhere. All Addie had to do was open up her mind and see it. When she looked around she did not see the dusty road or the stuck up ladies. She saw only a blank page.  
Addie you see, was blind. She did not know what she looked like or what I looked like. She did not know that her eyes were a blue so vivid they seemed like pools of water. And even if someone did tell her it would not have meant anything to her because she did not know what blue was!  
One day though when I was almost sixteen Addie could not come out to see me. Her mother said that she was not feeling well. I was not worried. Her mother made it sound like just a cold. She did not see it fit to tell me that Addie was close to death.  
It was almost a month before I saw Addie again. My sixteenth birthday came and went without Addie's smile and calm voice. When finally Addie's mother admitted that Addie was indeed dying I demanded to see her. I pushed my way past her mother and barged into her room.  
When I saw Addie sitting in her bed shivering her small body frail and close to death I did not know what to do. I just stood there. Finally Addie spoke, her voice barely a whisper hardly audible,  
" I know someone is standing there. You might as well say who you are. Are you another one of those priests here to bother me?"  
I couldn't help but smile shakily although no one could see it.  
" Oh Addie! I missed you so!" I sobbed and rushed to her bed side and folded my tan hand over her pale one.  
" Winnie! I begged mother to let you visit me! I am so sorry I missed your birthday. I got you a present..." Here she had to stop and suck air into her lungs. I wanted to take her place and give her my stronger lungs.  
" It's over there on the table." She nodded over to a small table. On it was a locket. It was small and beautiful. It had a small ruby in the center. When I opened it up there was a small dried blue flower.  
" It was my grandmothers. She wore it at her wedding and gave it to me. I want you to have it though. The flower inside of it is a forget-me-not. I want you to have it to remember me by."  
I rushed back to her side and flung my arms around her gently. I sobbed into her hair, her brown curly locks that I always had envied.  
" I love you Addie. You have been the best friend I ever had! Ever! You WILL get well again! You must..."  
Addie let out a faint chuckle. and lifted up a hand to smooth my hair,  
" Oh Winnie. I love you too. You have been one of the only people willing to see past my image and see the person inside of me. I thank you for that. I also know though that my time here is up. I can't stay here much longer."  
" No! Addie! You CAN'T! I... I... Addie," I spoke fast a thought forming in my mind, I said it before I could even think about the words,  
" there is a way you can keep living. I know if a way you can live forever! We can both drink from it and live together until the world ends! We could be together forever you and I. And we could go find Jesse and Tuck and everyone and we could all live together! Please Addie do this... For me... For yourself."  
Addie shook her head, " I have no wish to live forever Winnie. I have used up my time here and now I am going to make room for other people. I am not afraid to die."  
I begged her but she was adamant. Not soon after her mother came and ushered me out. And Addie said her last words to me,  
" Winne, some people go they're entire lives with out really seeing anything. Don't be like that. See everything. And remember that I love you."  
I will always remember those words. It is like she sewed them in my mind. After Addie died I stopped eating. I stopped smiling. All I felt was bitterness. When I slept at night all I thought about was that Addie should not have died and that she need'nt have died! I could have saved her if only she had said yes. Then I drank the water. I felt as if I had to. To prove to the world that I could beat death.  
But in drinking the water I did not escape death. I was cursed. There was no one I could turn to. And now I don't know if there ever will be.  
  
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(AN/ Sorry about this chapter... Its kind of depressing! I have been in a REALLY dark frame of mind these last couple of days. But the girl Addie was based on someone I knew that died too soon. She was one of my best friends sisters. And she died when she was only three. So I hope you all will forgive me for the darkness of this chapter. So PLEASE if you want to make my day better review me! It would make my day a lot better than it is right now! I love you all!)  
  
~Hannah  
  
ps. I think this chapter is a bit shorter! Sorry!!! 


	3. The Journey

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Chapter 3  
Disclaimer: Not mine... Natalie's, not mine... The plot is mine but sadly the charcaters are not my possesion. If I did own them do you really think I would be sitting here?  
  
Allie351: Oh! I am honored that you like my humble ficcy! Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside *feels warm and fuzzy inside* You really should read the book. Its way different than the movie is but I like them both a lot! Thanx for reading!  
  
Element: Patients is a virtue! Haha! I like being evil and making people wait! Bwahahaha glad that you like it! And I promise that *SPOILER*Jesse will be in the later chapters! (o;  
  
My name: I always thought that the ending was TOO sad! Anyways I promise happier chapters to come!!!  
  
Russetwolf713: Hehe a girl with dimples! A big threat I'm sure that you will agree with me when I say this! I used to have dimples when I was little but they died somehow. As for what happened to the Tucks... Well, we'll find out won't we! Ooh! Evil Hannah!  
  
Littlehobbitgirl: Glad you like my story! I hope you'll continue reading my humble ficcy poo!  
  
Stargirl-rebel: AHHHH! A harassing reviewer! *looks at Winnie and edges away slowly* Please do not make Winnie hurt me! I promise to be good for the rest of my life! Well, some of the time at least! I hope you will continue to read my ficcy!!!  
  
(AN/ thank you to all my reviewers and to any newbies I DEMAND that you review... NOW! Well, actually you can wait till after you read this chapter first! Thanks! Also please forgive me for taking so long to update I managed to crack my knee cap so I'm kinda in some pain so it took my a while even to be motivated to write till now! So sorry!!!)  
  
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February 18th,   
I left early this morning to search for Jesse. I don't know where I will go to search. I figure though that if I walk long enough I might get lucky. I'll just have to be careful. I don't think that anyone knows that I drank the water. I no longer have to worry about that man. He died years ago.  
I feel almost FREE! I'm finally going to get out of this place that has been nothing but a hell hole since Addie died. I'm getting away from all the memories, memories of my mother looking at me with suvh hate in her eyes and then her and my father dying. And of when Jesse left me... But I will be free of all of this! free!  
  
Later on the same day,  
  
I just thought of something so horrible I want to close it out of my mind and never think of it again. Here it is: What if the man in the yellow suit told someone else? What if someone else believed Miles's wife when she was in the insane asylum. We may not be safe yet! I feel as if a balloon inside of me has been popped with a pin. And now all that is left is a pile of shriveled rubber no fun at all and with no use at all and no purpose other than be tossed aside.  
But its no use 'what if-ing' it makes no sense even thinking about it. If it happens I'll think about it then but in the mean time I need to focus on the task at hand: finding Jesse and the other Tucks.   
I am not sure where to look though. I don't know where they could have gone they could be on an island in the middle of the ocean for all I know. So the big question is, where to look? I remember all those years ago Jesse telling me about all the places that he went. I have no idea where to start even. They don't have relatives or anyone they could visit as far as I know.  
  
So where to go?  
  
Wait! I remember Jesse telling me once about how he always wanted to show me the Eiffel Tower! Maybe that's where he is! Its as good a guess as any I suppose. I don't have any other ideas at this point so that is where I will go.  
Do you remember the frog I poured the water on? Of course you don't because there is no 'you' no one is reading this, no one ever will. Well, that frog is still here. It still does not really like me but I know where it goes because it is one of the only things about my past that is exactly the same. I will be sad to leave it. Maybe I could bring it with me...   
No. That would be unfair. It was bad enough when I poured the water on it without its consent, I could not take it away from its home. So I will go alone to journey to a place where I am not even sure will bring me even close to my goal. I would be lying if I said that I am not scared to leave my home. I am scared. Although this place is so full of bad memories it is all I have. But I can't stay here any longer not without trying at least to find Jesse.  
So I will leave. Starting tomorrow I am leaving to find my future, my family in a sense. The only almost family that I have. I am going to go for now though and try to find everything that I need to be able to begin my journey to find my family. I am afraid to go but I am more afraid to stay and never see them ever again so here I go...  
  
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(AN/ Yeah, I know short chapter but oh well. PLEASE forgive me and PLEASE review my ficcy poo! I love you all! and I promise I longer chapters to come ut as I said before its sucks to try to think when your knee cap is all messed up. Let me say right now that whoever made up crutches that hurt your armpits so bad is going to get it! Grrrrrrr! Have any of you had crutches before? They suck!!!!) 


	4. Taylor

Disclaimer: If you have gotten this far in to my ficcy and understand it then you know I do not own any of the characters... Well, I own Addie but I had her die... That sounds cruel and heartless. I AM NOT CRUEL AND HEARTLESS! Anyways I do not own the characters but I do own the plot! Go me!  
  
Thanks to:  
  
Becs Coplano- OK! *runs off to write as fast as she can* I'm glad you enjoy my story it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. *has warm fuzzy feeling inside*   
  
Penguinflavoredfilm- Hey short and sweet review! :P Anyways I am updating... NOW!  
  
Lilly- Ooh you do make me feel very evil for making you wait! Bwahahaha! I'm planning on updating at least once a day for this week because its spring break JOY TO THE WORLD! Anyways so check back here often and PLEASE do not blackmail me if I miss a day, I have like 6 other fanfics I'm trying to get out!  
  
Minnie mouse- Yes I promise this chapter will be more happy! I think that Winnie deserves that don't ya think?  
  
AN/ Ooh! BAD HANNAH! I made y'all wait a long time! Now I feel all guilty. Anyways because it is spring break (Yay!) I am going to try to update once a day but it might mnot work out as planned so forgive me if I miss a day or two!  
  
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February 19th  
  
I started off this morning. Luckily for me it was a bright sunny day but not too hot. Seems luck is more with me than I thought at first.  
I do not know the way but I have some money, I think its enough to get me a train to France where the Eiffel tower is. Most likely I will not be able to find the Tucks but one can hope, right?   
I remember Jesse telling me he climbed all those step to the very top of the tower rather than taking the elevator like most people. I can't remember the exact amount of step right now but there were a lot of them. Maybe when or if I get there I will climb to the very top and find Jesse waiting for me after all these years. One can hope.  
  
Later the same day.  
I found that I do have enough money to take a train to France. Once there I shall have to either walk to Paris or find a way to pay for me to go there. I could sell some of my things... Like this pin I have. I would hate to part with it but it is very valuable and would more than enough pay my passage.  
Yes, that is what I will do. The Tucks are worth every cent, Jesse is worth every cent.  
If I don't ever find the Tucks I don't know what I will do. I am so lonely. I can't really make friends because my secret would be discovered and then I would in worse a position than I am currently in.  
  
Later the same day.  
  
have arrived in France. The only problem now is getting to the Tower, and finding a way to pay my passage to Paris. I need to find someone to buy my pin. Again I hate to part with it but its the only way to get to where I am going. And I have no choice.  
I found some older man to buy my pin and got much more money for it than I thought I would get. He said it was very valueable and he asked if I was sure I wanted to part with it. I am ashamed to say I hesitated but I did sell it and am now on my way the Paris France. To find Jesse. Hopefully.  
There is a younge man around my age sitting in the seat across from me. He keeps glancing at me from over the top of his book. I wonder why. I have to say that it's getting me a bit worried. Oh god he's put his book down and is coming my way.  
  
His name is Taylor. The younge man. He is a traveler trying to make his wealth through trading and has some skill at Black smithing.  
How do I know these things? Well, he told me. When I left off last he was just getting up and coming my way. When he got to where I was sitting he stooped down and picked up a handkerchief I had dropped and not noticed. He handed it to me with a shy smile. I'll admit he has a very nice smile.  
Anway, he then asked if he could join me. I said yes and he sat down. He asked my name and I told Winnie Thomson although my last name is Foster. I doo not know yet if I can trust him. What if he had heard of my family?  
" I am Taylor Johnstone. I'm pleased to meet you. Are you traveling alone?" He inquired in a friendly but not suspisious way. I told him that I was traveling on my own to meet my cousins that lived in Paris.  
Then our talk went on to him and why he was traveling on Paris as well. He said that he was meeting a friend of his father and hopefully be able to become an apprentice for him at his smithy. (AN/ Are they called Smithys?)   
After about a half hour I felt comfortable with him enough to relax my guard a bit. Taylor must have noticed because he seemed to relax his guard as well and even told me some stories of his travels. It is late now and most people are sleeping like Taylor. But I am wide awake, listening. To what I don't know but in my heart it seems I can hear the faint and sweet strains of a music box.  
  
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AN/ Yeah kind of a short chapter but I made Winnie a friend! I think I may have fallen for my own character! YAY! I now own one person in this story. How cool is that? Anyways review me PLEEEEEEEEEEASE and let me know either through email or reviews: Who should Winnie end up with? Jess? Taylor? Someone new? Cast you're votes! (o: 


	5. Eiffel Tower

AN/ Eee! 29 reviews! How cool is that?!?!? Also I feel V. stupid, my boast about posting once a day on that week when I only did one makes me feel V. guilty! I apoligize to y'all!  
Thanks 2....  
HAA- Yes the music box is an important part to this story, not in this chapter but in upcoming chapters I have big plans! Glad that you like it!  
  
Cassandra- I have a friend who's name is Taylor. I plan on him coming back in further chapters and playing an important role. Thanx a ton for reviewing!  
  
Littlehobbitgirl- Hehehe. Glad you love it! I love it too! :oP  
  
Adi Gallia- Glad you like it! I like froggys so I thought I'd bring him back for a bit just for laughs and giggles! I plan on reading your fanfic right after I update this! Thanks again!  
  
Sara- Love them? Really?!? *feels special and loved* I hope this chapter is as good as the last ones, she's getting closer and closer to finding Jesse again.  
  
Fox and Theresa AFF- Yes, movie Jesse was WAY hot. All though I think he could have done with a hair cut! lol. Glad you've enjoyed it!  
  
Minnie Mouse- I think she deserves to have a friend. She hasn't had one of thise since Addie died so it's about time. Glad you like it and thans for reviwing!  
  
Isadora- Adorable? Oh! Thanks so much! Sadly making long chapters has all ways been a weak spot for me but I'll try my best!  
  
Crazy-Sexy-Cool-Girl- Glad ya like it! Thanks for reviewing! And I am writing more!  
  
Lady Summoner- Ah I like getting good reviews! Makes me feel so loved!!! Hope ya like it! And thanks for reviewing!  
  
Okay on with the show!  
^  
  
Chapter... Um... I have no idea which but anyway, on with the show!  
  
February 20th,  
I have arrived in Paris, France. I have to say that it is a lot different than I had thought that it would be. Everything seems... I don't know, smaller I guess than I thought. Or maybe I just feel bigger I feel as if everyone is watching me and knows of my probably false hopes and dreams.  
After I got off the train Taylor said he enjoyed meeting me and that he hoped that he would someday see me again.  
I have to admit that I was sad to see him go. It has been so long since I have had a friend. I am staying in a small hotel not far from the tower.  
I plan on going to see it first thing tommorow morning. I only hope that I will find someone or something there that can help me.  
  
February 21st,  
I am now sitting at the top of the Eiffel Tower. The climb was very long. I considered taking the elevator but remembered how Jesse had told me he had climbed every one of those steps.  
So I have now done the same. Along the way I counted. Counted every single step. There are 1665 steps to the top. I saw no one, everyone else must have taken the elevator to the top. As I walked and counted I searched for signs that Jesse had been there. As I walked up all those steps I remembered Addie's words to me.  
" Winne, some people go they're entire lives with out really seeing anything. Don't be like that. See everything. And remember that I love you."  
These words seemed to me as if they were her last gift for me. So I am seeing everything now. Seeing it all for Addie, who never got to see anything but at the same time saw so much.  
  
-Later the same day-  
I'm in shock. Why? Because I think deep down I never thought I would see Jesse again. But I have.  
Well, not really SEEN him but I soon will. When I reached the top of that tall, tall tower I did not find Jesse waiting for me at the top.  
I found Miles. I'm dead serious. He was emensly surprised to see me, even more than I was to see him I think. He just stared at me as if I were a ghost and finally he chocked out,  
" W- Winnie?!" He reached out a hand to steady himself as he stared at me and for a few minutes I could not answer him. I only nodded. Then slowly Miles reached out a hand and placed it on my arm as if to see if I was really standing there.  
It was at that moment that I burst into tears. I know, it sounds dumb but seriosuly, I did. I was just so relieved and so happy and at the same time so scared.  
Seeing Miles brought back memories. Memories of his former life. How his life had left him and died alone in an insane assylum. He had never got a second chance. His wife and children had left him. But me, I came back to Jesse and I could tell that it would be a long time before Miles would be able to look at me without an underlying pain and guilt and anger. Anger not at me but at the cruel fate that he wore around his shoulders.  
Even though I knew all this and even though it was true he was kind and even hugged me gently. He told me that he would take me to Jesse.  
So now I am in the hotel again and will see Jesse is only three days when he comes back from visiting his mother, Mrs. Tuck.  
So I should be happy I should be bursting with joy and happiness. But everytime I think of us together I see Miles face and think of his lost family.  
So in a few days I will be with him again. I'm not sure how I feel about this, I suppose I am happy but at the same I am scared witless. What if he doesn't like me? I will just have to wait and see. But I have this feeling that this may well be the longest three days of my entire life.  
^  
AN/ Well, whatta ya think? I'm finally getting Winnie to see Jesse again. I have to sya though that this is by far not my favorite chapter. Hmmm... Feed back? Review and I'll give you a nice ice cream bar!  
~Hannah 


	6. Long Days

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I'M BACK! Miss me? I hope so! Hehehehe... Anyway, will Winnie see Jesse again? What will it be like? Well, read on to find out but first...  
  
HAA- I hope he is glad too! I really don't have much control over my characters, they do what they want for the most part! Hehe.  
  
E.K. Kropp- Glad you like it, thanks for reviewing.  
  
Fox and Theresa AAF- Glad ya liked the last chp. The hair cut thing would help but he was pretty cute all the same. THANK U FOR REVIEWING!!!!!  
  
Encorekidd- Glad you like it! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside!!! Keep reviewing!  
  
Yoga Yougart- Thanks!!!  
  
Minnie Mouse- Good question, how will Jesse react? Only I know! *evil grin* Thanks for reviewing and I hope you like this next chappy.  
  
Cassandra- Goos Chappie! Hehehe goos! lol. Thanks for reviewing! I hope ya like this next installment!   
  
EVERYONE- Here's ur ice cream bar!  
  
OKEY DOKEY! Now that I am done with that I am going onto the story but first I just had to say WOW! 38 reviews?!?!?!?!?!? How great is that? This story could not have happened with out you guys!  
  
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February 23rd,  
I was right about one thing at least, the part about these being the slowest of my life. After I drank the water time just seemed to... Stop. I have never really felt time, until now that is.   
Now time is going slower than ever. And I am beginning to realize that if Jesse does not want me that I will be without him, without any of them... Forever.  
All I can do is hope that he will want me.  
Miles came with me back to where I am staying and got a room here as well. He left about a half hour ago saying he needed to send word to Jesse.  
And so here I am. Alone. Again. But this time with the promise of friendship if not more to come. And I have to say, as I sit here writing in my book.  
I feel happy.  
  
Later the same day,  
When Miles came back we talked for a long time. We dined in his rooms. We ate in silence then,  
" Do you regret it, Winnie? You know, when you drank the water?" He asked and startled me enough so that I jumped. I was about to say, "No, not at all." but I looked at him and knew I could not lie to him, and oddly I found I did not WANT to lie.  
" Yes. But there is no going back now, is there? I understand now that what I have done... Was wrong." I hung my head and blinked back sudden tears.  
"Tell me?" Miles asked. I looked up at him and nodded. I found then that I didn't know how to start. Images flooded through my mind.  
  
Addie.   
  
My mother.   
  
The Tucks.   
  
The spring.   
  
The toad.   
  
Then Miles put a hand on my own and squeezed it gently. I smiled and took a deep breath then I began.  
I told him everything. About Addie and how after that I drank the water. About my family pushing me away and how everyone I had loved had died or forgotten me or pushed me out of their minds. I told him about my search for them and about my anxiety that the man had told others about the spring.  
  
I told him I was scared.  
  
When I had talked myself out I found that I had tears running down my cheeks and I hastily wiped them away.  
" Winnie, I promise you that no matter what happens I will always be here for you. We all will." then he hugged me tight and I sobbed in his hold.   
It had been SO long since I had been hugged and I sucked it up like a thirsty flower sucks up water.  
And like water it brought ease. And joy.  
  
February 24th,  
Today Jesse will be here. I can scarcely believe it. I am not quite sure how I should feel right now. If I should be happy or scared or... What? Relieved? Or should I maybe be angry?  
Angry that Jesse never came back for me. That he never even looked. Should I run to him? Or let him come to me? I just don't know what I should do. And it scares me.  
  
After I had left Miles and written it all down I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.  
I have not fallen asleep like that since longer than I remember. I have Miles to thank for that. It was like the story I had inside myself was a poison that I had to bleed out of my system.  
When I woke up this morning I took longer than I usually take, to get ready. I wanted to look good.  
I washed my hair and combed out all the tangles until it shined. Then I washed my best dress and wore one of my older ones while it dried.  
When I finally came out of my room I went to Miles room to find that he wasn't there but I found him down in the dining area down stairs.  
He was staring blankly into a glass of water in his hands. When I placed a hand on his shoulder he jumped then smiled when he saw it was me.  
" You look wonderful, Winnie." He said and I blushed slightly and smiled shyly before answering,  
" Thank you very much, Miles. Will Tuck and May be coming as well? Or just Jesse?"   
" May and Tuck will arrive here tonight most likely along with Jesse. They said they would be coming as fast as they could. They are very eager to see you."  
I smiled even wider and plumped down on the bench next to him and dug into the food in front of me. I was hungry!  
When I finished Miles told me he had some things he needed to attend to and if I would be alright on my own. I told him I would be and he headed off.  
Then I heard a voice call me. I turned and saw Taylor walking over to me with a grin on his face.  
" Winnie, it's good to see you again!" I smiled and said,   
" It's great to see you too. Why are you here?" It was kind of a rude question but I was a little shocked to see him.  
" The family I am working for live here. they oown this Inn. I had no idea you would be here. It's really great though." He said and I thought I saw a faint blush on his tan cheeks but then I decided I msu have imagined it.  
I sat and talk with Taylor for a long while and found that his being there eased the slowness of time somewhat. he was a very funny man. I found myself laughing with him more than I had in years.   
After a while he said that he was sorry but that he really had to go or he would be late.  
" Will you stay here for a while?" He asked and I answered slowly not quite sure what to say,  
" I uh... Um. Well, I am not really sure to be honest with you. I may be leaving soon. But I don't know."  
He nodded and said,  
" Well, I really hope I see you again, Winnie. If I don't see you again remember me." He said with a grin and then taking me completely by suprise he leaned down and kissed me softly on the cheek before turning bright red and hurrying off quickly.  
I stared after him and smiled at his retreating figure. I really did hope that I would see him again soon.  
  
~@!*!@~  
  
AN- Hehehehe! Evil Hannah! Leaving them hanging like that again. Hehehe. I am really very sorry but I have a big math test coming up and a TON of homework so I have to go study and get some done before my mom gets home and yells at me for slacking off! Teehee!   
So what did you think of this chapter? It's 6 pages long, that's not too bad. Nt really good but ya know how it goes. PLEASE REVIEW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~Hannah 


	7. Meeting Jesse

AN/ pk well, I updated! I hope y'all like it! Thanks tooooooo...  
  
Katie- Ooh! I feel so loved! I'm glad you love it. I love it too! : P teehee...  
  
Isadora- I know, I am an increadably cruel person aren't I? Teehee! At least I updated, right? Glad ya like it. Oh and I am planning on checking out your story, I love reading peoples wirttings!  
  
Maddie- Hhmmmm... Maybe I should do a chapter or two from a different perspective? I could like do one on Jesse's POV or something to give ya a break from the ddiary format. Thanks for reviewin me!  
  
okiely dokiely! On with the show, WINNIE IS FINNALLY SEEING JESSE!  
  
~!@!~  
-same day-  
  
I walked down into the main part of the Inn and saw Miles sitting at a table, he looked deep in thought. I sat down next to him and he smiled and without looking up said,  
" Good afternoon, Winnie. Sleep well?" I smiled too and answered,  
" Actually better than I have in a long while. I have you to thank for that. And I do, thank you I mean."  
Miles looked at me and met my eyes. I never noticed that he had very pretty eyes before.   
  
Did I just write that?  
  
" you're welcome. I am sure that my brother is very anxious to see you again. And... I hope that it all works out for the best, how ever that may be. You're like the sister I never had Winnie and I care about you."  
I didn't know what to say. I just smiled and blinked back sudden tears that I didn't know were coming.  
  
What does that mean?  
  
Anyway, I have nothing to do until he comes. He being Jesse. Although I am sure that you know this. Whoever YOU might or might not be.  
  
Later the same day.  
  
I don't know what to say. I am... Happy. And it feels good to be so happy.  
Jesse arrived not long after I finished writing that. He was... Well, the same-obviously because physically he can't change-but at the same time much different than the Jesse I fell for all those long years ago.  
And it stirred some doubt in my mind. Why didn't Jesse come back like he promised me?  
When he first saw me he was quiet he walked up to me slowly and looked astonished.  
" Wi-Winnie..." He said and I felt uncomfortable in his gaze. He suddenly ran towards me and wrapped his arms around me and spun me around.  
And I felt that I could not go wrong. Ever again.  
But now I am not so sure... I am getting ahead of myself please bear with me, my patient friend.  
" Jesse. I thought I would never see you again! How-how have you been? WHERE have you been? Where are May and Tuck? What-"  
He put a hand over my mouth to silence me. He was smiling he set me down and lead me to one of the tables. We sat down and he answered my questions.  
" I'm fine, Winnie. As are May and Tuck. I never thought I would see you again. I missed you all these years,"  
I had to refrain from snarling, " Then why did you not come for me?" I don't know why I was so mad but I was. Mad and yet happy at the same time and... For some reason, ashamed.  
" I was in the America's. I had never been there before and it was very different. It was unlike here, maybe-" Here he looked shy to my amusement, " Maybe we can go there someday. Together, I mean."  
We talked for hours. It was not what I thought it would be like, finally meeting up with Jesse again I mean.  
I am happy but at the same time I don't know how to cope. I am very confused. I wish someone would tell me what to do.   
  
~@!*!@~  
  
AN/ Eeeee! I did it! She met Jesse again. What did you think? *bites nails nervously* I hope y'all liked it. Also this may sound very weird but I was thinking and I came up with this: What about a Winnie and Miles relationship?  
But I want your opinions before I make any decisions, so therefore I have made a poll type thing and I am BEGGING you all to tell me which you would rather. Either through email or review. Your choices are:::  
  
A. Jesse  
B. Taylor  
C. Miles  
D. New character  
E. None (please don't vote for this! I want a romance!)  
F. Other  
  
SO PLEASE REVIEW AND PLEASE VOTE! I love you all dearly! 


	8. Regrets

CHAPTER 8  
  
@~!*!~@  
  
AN- I'M BACK! And guess what??? IT'S SUMMER VACATION! Whoot! *dances* I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Teehee! So I am hopefully going to update more often. All though I am taking part in a thingy called NaNoWriSea (National Write a Novel in a Season) which is the Sheroes version of National Write a Novel in a Month thingy. So I dunno how often I am going to be doing my fanfics. If you want to read that I have it up on Fiction Press.com and here's the linky: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1303226\  
  
It's called, 'Life Styles of the Not So Rich or the Famous.' It's something I am really very proud of. Check it out and I will love you forever and ever!!!!  
  
Oh, and as a warning: THIS CHAPTER IS SOMEWHAT ANGSTY! IT IS NOT A HAPPY CHAPTER! I just thought I should warn you.  
  
So onto the thank you's................. (By the way: 59 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH!)  
  
Katie- lol. Miles a burden, Huh? lol. Thanks a ton for reviewing! I'm glad ya like it!  
  
Isadora- Ah, that might explain why I couldn't find anything under that name! I'll check that out when I have some spare time. I love reading people's stories! Glad someone else thinks Miles is a cool character!!!  
  
Me- Short and sweet review. I am updating... Now actually!  
  
Cassandra- No making FRUM of your spelling mistakes, Huh? lol. I just love teasing you! If it helps at all I am a completely hopeless speller as well, and spell check is my bestest friend!!!  
  
Silver Fawkes- I totally agree that questioning shows caring. And remember that Winnie was only ten years old! I wasn't even thinking about guys at that age, they still had cooties! So I dunno if she's really ready to fall head over heels yet. Hmmm... Thanks!  
  
~SW- Let me guess, you want a Jesse/Winnie relationship? lol. Thanks for reviewing!!!  
  
Critara's pride (2 la-Z 2 sign N)- *whimpers* I think I may have just gotten a death threat! Oooh! How great is that!!!! lol. Thanks for reviewing and as for who she ends up with... We'll have to see what happens. I actually don't have all that much control over my characters, they control me!  
  
Dodger- What was that? You want A? Or did you want B or C? Hmm... lol. Thanks for reviewing!!!!!  
  
Star C. Waters- Ah, you lazy girl! Review me! It keeps my little ego nice and happy. lol, thanks for reviewing and reading!!!  
  
Rowana166- Hey, a reviewer that doesn't care that much! lol. Thanks for reviewing me!!!  
  
DramaQueen77- Hmm... Interesting idea. I'll think about that. Thanks for the input and reviewing!  
  
Katherine- Weird can be good though, too! But thanks a ton for reviewing my ficcers!  
  
Angel47- THANKS! And we have yet another Jesse vote! lol... He seems somewhat popular...  
  
Minnie Mouse- Well, I KNOW! lol. I have it all figured out... *superior grin* THANKS FOR REVIEWING!  
  
Xirleb70- Ah! A Miles vote! Whoot... I like the thought of Miles having love again. If I decide not to do a Winnie/miles ship in this story I may have to write another one!  
  
BuffyAngel4ever- You gave me a GREAT idea! What about an email list? Like I email everyone that likes this fic when I update... Hmm... Thanks for giving me the thought! lol. Cliff hangers are lovely things, are they not? Teehee, my reviewers hate me but it brings me pleasure! THANKS!  
  
EVERYONE- OMG! I have like... A LOT of reviews! lol. I am like in shock! I never thought people would like my stuff. Teehee. Anywho, BuffyAngel4ever gave me a great idea: What about starting an email list? Like when I update, I send out an email to everyone and let them know? If ya like this idea leave your email addie here! Oh, and the vote for who Winnie should be with stands thus:   
  
A (aka- Jesse) has 10 votes  
  
B (aka Taylor) has 2 votes, poor man!  
  
C (aka Miles) has 4 votes  
  
OMG! GUESS WHAT I READ?!?!?! I Winnie and TUCK FIC! As in old Tuck person. It was on a different site but it just made me shiver. And I felt bad for Mae! So no worries there, I promise NEVER to make that relationship!!!  
  
(Oh and just so you guys know, I have not made any decisions on who Winnie will end up with SO KEEP VOTING!!!!)  
  
@~!*!~@  
  
~MILES POV~   
  
(AN/ I hope you like this, I wanted to try something other then a diary write from Winnie journal.)  
  
I watched Winnie and Jesse hug. I saw the way her eyes lit up. And I-I cracked. I saw the way he looked at her, and she looked at him. And I remembered how my dear wife used to look at me. With such i just to see me.  
  
I walked from the room, trying to be perfectly normal. But when I got to my rooms... I cracked. As I said before.  
  
It just was not fair. I know some people say that, that life is not fair, I mean.   
  
  
  
But they have no idea.  
  
I couldn't breath in that room. I couldn't think. I felt like I was in a cage. And I would not get out. Ever. Not until the day I die. Which will never come.  
  
So I hurt myself.  
  
I took out a knife and cut deep into my wrists. I felt the pain and saw the blood run down onto the bed. I cut deep enough that a normal person would have died.  
  
But me? I passed out for a few hours, but that was it. I woke up and looked at the healed scars on my wrist. And I cried.   
  
I don't know how long I would have cried if someone had not found me.   
  
  
  
The person was Winnie.  
  
  
  
There was a knock on the door and I opened it to find Winnie looking up at me.   
  
" May I come in?" She asked. I nodded mutely. And opened the door so she could come in.  
  
She came in and looked up at me. She dug in her pocket for a moment and brought out a somewhat rumpled handkerchief. She handed it to me and I nodded my thanks before wiping my face.  
  
I led her into my room without thinking and when I saw her eyes widen I realized why instantly: The blood. From my wrist. I didn't know what to say. I croaked and few times but nothing came out.  
  
" Oh Miles." She said and looked at me. " You loved her so much, didn't you?" She said it with sadness but not pity. She reached out and carefully turned my hand over to look at my wrist. She ran her fingers lightly over the scars. She looked back up at me and said softly,  
  
" Would you like to go down to the main part on the Inn? Get away from um... Just get away?" I nodded, mute again. I was at a loss for words.  
  
When we got down to the main part it was mostly empty. I found my voice and asked in a voice husky and hoarse from crying so much,  
  
" Where's Jesse? And Tuck and Mae?" She gestured for me to sit and I did.  
  
" They went to see if they could find someone to shoe the horse. I told them to go without me. I said I wanted to talk to you."  
  
I blinked and said quietly without looking at her,  
  
" Why-Why did you want to talk to me?" Winnie didn't answer at first and I looked up at her. I saw her thinking before answering, as if she were chewing her words before saying them.  
  
And I saw that she had grown up while we had been gone all those long, long years.  
  
" Miles. I saw the look in your eyes. When I saw Jesse again. And I felt... Sad. Not sorry-" She said hastily as she saw me about to object. " Just sad. Not for you, but for all of us. And I want you to know that no matter what happens. I will always, always be your friend."  
  
I felt tears prick at my eyes and I blinked them back. I looked at my wrist and at the scars. The scars that for any other person would be deadly, but for me... Nothing.  
  
As I stared at my wrist I saw Winnie's hand come into view. She out her hand on top of my own; covering my wrist.  
  
We talked for a long time after that. But about happy things. We didn't talk about the past. We talked about what was going to happen next. Where we would go. We as in the whole Tuck family. Together.  
  
And I felt happy again.  
  
@~!*!~@  
  
~ WINNIE'S DIARY AGAIN~  
  
February 26th,  
  
I don't know what to say. I always thought that once I met up with the Tucks again everything would be... I don't know. Easy, I suppose. But it's not.  
  
I can't help wondering all over again if there is some way to change this. Our immortality, I mean.   
  
Then I think: If I could go back to being mortal, would I want to?  
  
I have my family of sorts with me now. And I am happy for the most part. But... I don't want to live forever.  
  
What will forever be like? To wake up every single say until the world ends... And maybe even then, we'll still exist.  
  
I am thankful that I have other people to share the burden with me. But I understand now what Tuck meant when he begged me not to drink the water. I remember his words like it was yesterday:   
  
  
  
" What we have, you can't really call living. We're just stuck. like rocks on the side of a river."  
  
And he was right... Oh, so right... And I wish I could have seen that, all those years ago when I drank the water.   
  
And I thought of another thing, late in the night. I don't have that feeling of risk. I could go jump off a tower with a small pool of water at the bottom, and not be scared at all. But if there is no risk, where is the rush? The feeling of possibly giving it all away?  
  
Jesse is here though. But... I feel like I don't know him yet. I mean, it was many many years ago and I threw my life away for him. And yet I have no idea who he really is.  
  
But I suppose that I have an eternity to learn, don't I? I am truely happy to see the Tucks again but at the same time it brings back memories I wish I could erase from memory.  
  
And Miles... I feel guilty when I see him. I chose to be with Jesse and his wife, chose death over him. And then... I can't help wondering which shows more love?  
  
The willingness to let someone go, or to throw everything that ever mattered to be with one person.  
  
Please, my unknown and unexistent reader, please help me do what is right. I have all the time in the world but I still think I may never find the answer.  
  
@~!*!~@  
  
AN/ Ooh! Poor Miles! Was that ok? Was it bad? I felt that I needed to try and capture the idea of how bad immortality would be. But it made me somewhat depressed! You know what might make me feel better? LOT'S OF REVIEWS! lol. Bribery! But pleeeeeeeeeease review and I will love you forever and I'll give you a cookie!  
  
Ooh and don't forget to leave your email addie if ya wanna be on the mailing list.  
  
Ooh and if you have not voted yet I command you to do so asap!!!!!  
  
~Hannah who will be updating more often since it's SUUUUUUUMMER! 


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